


Normality Pains An Un-fixable Man

by Author_Chan06



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Bones, Hearing Voices, Joker (DCU) Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Poetry (Not Mine), Reminiscing, Repressing Behavior, Sad Joker, Sexual Fantasy, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:00:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29770350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_Chan06/pseuds/Author_Chan06
Summary: Joker knew how this would end. He knew- but he was still powerless to stop it. It’s his Bat after all, and he would do anything - that he possibly could - to make his darling smile.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. The Offer

> “Please, let me help you Joker!”
> 
> ”I don-ta need help, bats - hehe!”

They’d had this conversation hundreds of times, yet somehow they always ended up back on it. Joker knew his darling thought he could _fix_ him, _save_ him but the clown knew better. His poor sweetheart! He never seemed to understand! 

The first time had been a small plea which the Joker had easily brushed off, but then it came back again-  
  


> “Joker, I can help you!”
> 
> ”Still a no sir-e over here, love~!”

And again-  
  


> “Let me help!
> 
> ”Haha! If you want-ed to shoot him, you should’ve said so earlier, he’s looong dead~!”
> 
> “Joker!”

And again-  
  


> “I would be willing to let you live with me... just please, let me help you...”
> 
> ”Bats, you would let little ole me, live with you? You’re so sweet darling~!”
> 
> ”Just, think about it...”

Until he’d lost count of the times his sweet pea had brought it up. As if wearing him down sometimes he found himself pondering the offer, but he couldn’t! It wouldn’t work! No ma’am! He knew himself too well, as well as he knew his Bat too well. 

He knew how it would end. Oh _yes he does_! He would do anything in his power for his Bat. But this- he can’t. He _knows_ he can’t. But his Bat is asking...  
  


> “Why won’t you let me help you?”  
>    
>  “I can-ta Batsy!”
> 
> ”Why not?”
> 
> ”...I’m the Joker honey why do you think?”

He felt it coming. But he tried, _oh had he tried_ , to push it back, to delay the inevitable. 

But as he said, he would do _anything_ in his power for is beautiful Batsy.

> ”Joker, let me help you, please...J?
> 
> ”I- tell me more about this offer Bats...”

The offer sounded _oh so sweet-!_ He could live with his love, become friends, and slowly become more, all he had to do was give up crime.

But that was the one thing he couldn’t do. Give up crime? Stop fighting with the Bat? Lose his attention? It would kill him. No no _no nonono-_

It wasn’t like he thought Batman would do any better. Losing his favorite punching bag! What a horrible thought!

Without Joker there is no Batman... With a Batman there is a Joker. He can’t just disappear.

He knew, Batman would have to leave for this to work, and he would never ask his lovely rodent for that type of horrible thing. He didn’t _want_ the Bat to leave!

Batman and The Joker... have to exist together. 

Even then...

> ”Has your answer changed?”

He shouldn’t - _He really shouldn’t-!_  
  


> ”Yes. I’ll do it.”

He was doomed from the start.


	2. The Past

Joker could tell. He knew. As well as he’d memorized Gotham he had memorized his Bats. His love was weary, tired, but hopeful. Maybe the asylum was getting better?

> Ah the asylum~! Joker could remember his first time there! He’d been so confused and excited. He had been in love with his darling even then. Mind reeling with their first encounter.
> 
> Then he’d been introduced to electroshock~! Ah- what fun they’d had!

But, of course, he wouldn’t be going there again. Unless Batsy decided to have him go to a therapy session - hehehe! A shame really, he had just started working on his relationship with Harley. Not _relationship_ but at least not hating each other, and now he wouldn’t be able to see her for a while...

> Harleen Quinzel. His new therapist. She was...interesting... Different. He could mold her.
> 
> Oh yes! That’s perfect! While he was in here he might as well have some fun - haha!

Oh well~! He had his Bat. Most of the time. He was still trying to convince him to let him have a com-link. He loved those little things~!  
  
When he learned Batman used com-link he had to do something with that!

> He giggled quietly, slowly tuning the device to the right channel. After a few moments he smiled widely.
> 
> Bingo!
> 
> ”Hello Batsy~!”

Maybe he would do something for his love when he gets home?

* * *

He smiled ruefully, eyes refocusing to the room in front of him. He was currently in the kitchen, a cookie crumbling in his hand, kicking his feet, as he sat on the counter top.

Bored. So very _bored!_

His beloved was gone for the day. Wayne Enterprise had called last night and so this morning he’d had to head out. So no cuddles, or lovely sex.

No crime. So that meant he couldn’t go out and kill a couple people, or find a party and terrorize the other rich Gothamites...

And he wasn’t even allowed to leave the house. So no friendly _get outs!_

So all he could do is sit around the house, and reminisce. It was exactly what he didn’t want to do. It would make this even more bittersweet~!

But it didn’t matter what he wanted his mind wanted to show him what he wanted, and he couldn’t stop it-

> The moon cast a faint glow on Batman, his cape billowed around him, eyes seemingly glowing. A part of the night, but disconnected from it.
> 
> His voice was gruff, and demanding. It sent a shiver down Joker’s spine. He could feel a grin stretching his face, the scars pulling silently at his skin. It was met with the others tight frown.
> 
> ”You’re the one from ACE Chemicals?” Joker shivered.
> 
> ”Of course, darling! Were you expecting someone else~?”

Ah the second time they’d met. After he’d fully transformed~! It was one of his favorite times! Of course _nothing_ beats their 5 anniversary~!

> A small scuff on the ground alerts the Joker to the others presents and he twirls around, his dress turning with him in almost girlish delight.
> 
> Its purple - of course~! - a dark purple, that ends under his knees, and falls off his shoulders. He had paired it with some matching shiny stilettos, and he changed out his gloves to formal ones, made of soft silk.
> 
> He pulled at his glove nervously. “Hello, Bats!”
> 
> Staring for a moment, the vigilante literally shook himself, eyes roaming over his outfit in faintly concealed shock. “Joker...?” 
> 
> “Where you hoping for someone else, darling?”
> 
> ”I- no. Of course not.”
> 
> Joker blushed, he had of course not expected his sweetheart to be so forward, that was new...
> 
> ”Well...g-good! It’s our anniversary after all! I have so much planned~!”
> 
> ”No one dies?”
> 
> He smiled. “No one dies.”
> 
> Batman nodded, hesitatingly walking next to Joker, as they set out for the most - non deadly - fun they’d ever had together.

It had been a blast~! And just as he said - he’s a man of his word after all - no one died. Oh, there had been this annoying man that had cut them(?!) - Joker and Batman! Did he have a death wish?! - in line for the rollercoaster, but he was able to restrain himself after a small cut, (He didn’t even cut off any limbs-!) because the Bat threatened to leave and send him to Arkham.

It had been the first time they had hung out without fighting, and it hadn’t been the last. Looking back, Joker thinks him stopping their game for that day gave his darling hope he was changing. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that- No no-! That was his favorite day ever... He could never wish that away.

The door opening pulled him out of his mind, and he quickly shoved the rest of the cookie into his mouth. 

“Mr Joker? Bruce wanted me to inform you he’s just got out of work and will be home shortly.” Turning towards the butler, he gave him a smile. Alfred flinched, causing him to shrug.

”Thanks Jeeves~!” The butler quickly made his way out of the room, causing Joker to pout for a moment, before he shrugged and hopped gracefully off the counter. A small pain in his feet, at the impact, sent a giggle falling from his lips, before he remembered why, and that made him pout.

He sure missed pain. Maybe he could get his Batsy to fight him, like sparring. It wouldn’t be as violent as normal but well, he would take whatever he could get right now.

> A broken arm. His Bat had broken his arm, and it had felt deliriously good. So good, he had misstepped, and been caught!
> 
> Hell...he couldn’t be mad about it.
> 
> Sitting in his cell in Arkham was usually boring, but fun. Because he could plan.
> 
> But now...Now his mind couldn’t focus. It kept replaying.
> 
> Batman had grabbed his arm, the one holding his knife, and _squeezed, crushed, until **CRACK!**_
> 
> Of course he knew - oh he knew! - it wasn’t on purpose, but it was so much, oh so much!, and he was spent, body seizing and cock hard.
> 
> He’d came, and the Bat hadn’t even noticed. To busy freaking out. Not outwardly, but well he was his darling! He could tell!
> 
> Well, he’d told him he didn’t mind - had loved it even - , but he knew he wasn’t convinced. Always the worried lover~! 
> 
> Maybe he could get him to do it again? Of course after it had healed! Maybe, just maybe, he would try...

He shivered. Now he was sure even a gut punched would set him off. He sure did miss his sweethearts love taps.

Shaking the thoughts as best he could, he straightened, and skipped off, to get ready for his lovers arrival.

* * *

Laying next to Batman, he snuggled closer, seeking out warmth. His thoughts sluggishly creeped about.

Memories(the bat in the moonlight-), memories(him and the bat fighting next to an explosion-), sensations(a fist to the stomach, a kick in his legs-), phantom pains(his broken arm, burning in his eyes-), then back to memories(batbatbat-).

Joker sighed, pushing his head into the crook of his darlings neck, and immersing himself in the feelings. If he couldn’t get away from them, he might as well enjoy them...


	3. The Voices

After about a month, the memories slowly started to wane. The Joker had happily assumed he was just getting used to living like this and he would actually get to enjoy a happy ending.

But no-! Of course that wasn’t what was happening! Nothing was _ever_ that simple! Was it?! No, obviously not...

It had started small, like most things do - Like his crimes, and the memories from before - and gotten louder and bigger as the days dragged on.

He can clearly remember the first time it happened and wished he knew back then how bad it would get and had found a way to clamp down on it.

> Batsy had just left for work, after they’d called. Of course, he didn’t always answer, instead opting to stay home in the Batcave, hanging out with Joker and working. But this was one of the days he couldn’t ignore them anymore. So he went. With a kiss - that he wished lasted longer - his sweetheart was out the door, and he was left alone.
> 
> He’d decided to look around, he usually stayed around the kitchen and ate random little things to get rid of the boredom, it didn’t really work. Somehow as he’d been wandering around he found a staircase. And up he went. 
> 
> Gotham at daytime had always looked off to him, like the city should have always been dark and the light messed with it. 
> 
> Now with his high vantage point that thought stuck out even more. Gotham was supposed to be dark. He knew it.
> 
> But as he looked out at the city, that was when the first voices started, the urges as he started to call them.
> 
> [You could easily get a bomb.
> 
> Wait till night of course!
> 
> Make Gotham look right again~!]

And after that the voice multiplied -

> [There’s no one here! You can leave!]
> 
> (Let’s get out!)
> 
> {You know you want to~!}

Always there -

> (Oooh! J-J, look there’s a knife, use it!)
> 
> [That butler would look cute with less skin, what’d ya think~?] 

Always talking - 

> <Eni Mini Minie Mo-!>
> 
> {I see Harley! Now let’s go!}

Always _urging_ -

> |Come on! Come on, _comeoncomeoncomeon!_ |
> 
> [Yeah! Hurry up and leave! It’s boring here!]
> 
> (I wanna kill! _Killkillkillkill!_ )

This wasn’t the first time he’d heard voices, so he knew not to talk back to them. He was _**trying(!)**_ to be _good_ , for his dearest... But they were getting annoying and he couldn’t say their suggestions weren’t appealing - some were even bea-utifally creative!

So he started giving responses, small ones - like dipping his toes in a pool.

> (I would die just to stab someone now! Come on J-J, do something~!)
> 
> ”We can’t stab people anymore. Batsy won’t like it.”

> [Ho-oh! Dearest looks hot as hell right now! What’d ya say, wouldn’t he look better with some more blood, of our making, on his abs~?]
> 
> ”Hmn, stop giving me these de-licious ideas!”

> <If madness is like gravity, does that mean we’re trying to fly against it?>
> 
> (Its our sweetheart, he’s the one with the wings right?)
> 
> {Plus he doesn’t remember that time, anyway.}
> 
> <Yeah, oopsie! I always forget that~!>
> 
> ”For your information, his wings do no-ta fly, they glide. So he will always eventually hit the ground.”
> 
> <I'm falling; With no real destination, But up and away, Down and forward, Around and around; Until eventually my thoughts, Have me drowned~!>
> 
> ”.....”

They wouldn’t stop, talking and talking- after he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to ignore them, it slowly became full on conversations. Of things they could do if they left, of ways to leave, how hot Bats was after he got back from patrol, how this part of his life would eventually end.

He had always knew. He was Joker. The Crime Prince of Crime! He couldn’t stay like this forever. It was just impossible.

So he relished in the parts he loved.

Bats hands on his hips - 

> Falling.
> 
> Falling fast.

Lips melded together, as they laid on the bed - 

> But my feet don’t touch the ground.

Small gifts he’d find next to him when he woke up -

> Falling.  
> Falling deep.

The morning cuddles-

> And the only sound is the beat of my heart.

Their reunions when patrol ended-

> Falling.  
> Falling hard.

Looking into his lovers blue ocean eyes - 

> And you’re the only one around.

The small smiles -

> Falling.  
> Falling over.

The times he actually laughs at his jokes - 

> Tumbling,  
> Fumbling,

As times trudges on, he realizes something - 

> Falling,

Nothing can ever go back to the way it was, and that thought makes his horribly nauseous.

> Falling in love.

It’s the first time he’s cried in years.


End file.
